Sunday, September 26, 2010
Never know what to say
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
REALIZATION
As long as I can remember I have not had the same love that I give out and I have also wondered Why. When I was little as far back as I can remember, I got punished severly, being a child physically and mentally for the little things that a child does. Then and now I've wondered why my patents didn't give me the same love that I witnessed threw some family members and friends households. Up until a few years ago it bothered me alot. Then I started thinking that because of my background that's why none of my relationships have worked out. I finally decided to change the Cycle.
When I first tried this it still didn't work the abuse was bad. I thought when I stopped taking from my ex-husband that life would get better but that wasn't the case. I had two more bad relationships after that. Don't get me wrong, they were good for awhile and when my radar started going off instead of them admitting thier guilt, they just turned it around and broke down the rest of my self-esteem. By this time my self-esteem was so shot at the time I thought there was no coming back.
I had given up because my love wasn't good enough. I have spent the last years going threw alot of ups and downs, but the one thing that I have truely learned is that I am worthy of Real Love and that no matter what happens I should never compromise that for anyone or any reason. My family are the ones that I need to Thank for my Awakening. If it wasn't for my coming back home(NJ), I wouldn't have figured out where I truely belong or where my home really is.
I have tried but I can't and will not take the half Love and all the Judgement.
They won't deal with me when I do what pleases me and make me happy, so in this case I will go where I'm wanted and loved for being me.
THE GREATEST REALIZATION
When I first tried this it still didn't work the abuse was bad. I thought when I stopped taking from my ex-husband that life would get better but that wasn't the case. I had two more bad relationships after that. Don't get me wrong, they were good for awhile and when my radar started going off instead of them admitting thier guilt, they just turned it around and broke down the rest of my self-esteem. By this time my self-esteem was so shot at the time I thought there was no coming back.
I had given up because my love wasn't good enough. I have spent the last years going threw alot of ups and downs, but the one thing that I have truely learned is that I am worthy of Real Love and that no matter what happens I should never compromise that for anyone or any reason. My family are the ones that I need to Thank for my Awakening. If it wasn't for my coming back home(NJ), I wouldn't have figured out where I truely belong or where my home really is.
I have tried but I can't and will not take the half Love and all the Judgement.
They won't deal with me when I do what pleases me and make me happy, so in this case I will go where I'm wanted and loved for being me.
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